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      真愛(ài)的幾點(diǎn)內(nèi)涵 Some Meanings of Authentic Love

      放大字體  縮小字體 發(fā)布日期:2006-10-24  來(lái)源:中青網(wǎng)
      Love means that I know the person I love. I'm aware of the many sides of the other person--not just the beautiful side but also the limitations, inconsistencies and flaws.

      Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love. If I care about you, I'm concerned about your growth, and I hope you will become all that you can become.

      Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love. If I love you, I can see you as a separate person, with your own values and thoughts and feelings, and I do not insist that you surrender your identity and conform to an image of what I expect you to be for me.

      Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love. If I love you, I'm responsive to most of your major needs as a person.

      Love means growth for both myself and the person I love. If I love you, I am growing as a result of my love. You are a stimulant for me to become more fully what I might become, and my loving enhances your being as well.

      Love means making a commitment to the person I love. This commitment does not entail surrendering our total selves to each other; nor does it imply that the relationship is necessarily permanent. It does entail a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain, uncertainty, struggle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment.

      Love means trusting the person I love. If I love you, I trust that you will accept my caring and my love and that you won't deliberately hurt me. I trust the reciprocal nature of our love.

      Love can tolerate imperfection. In a love relationship there are times of boredom, times when I may feel like giving up, times of real strain, and times I experience an impasse. Authentic love does not imply enduring happiness. I can stay during rough times, however, because I can remember what we had together in the past, and I can picture what we will have together in our future if we care enough to face our problems and work them through.

      Love is freeing. Love is freely given, not doled out on demand. Authentic love is not given with strings attached. There is an unconditional quality about love.

      Love is expansive. If I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships. The honest evidence of our love is our commitment to encouraging another's full development.

      Love means having a want for the person I love without having a need for that person in order to be complete. If I am nothing without you, then I'm not really free to love you.

      Love means identifying with the person I love. If I love you, I can empathize with you and see the world through your eyes. I can identify with you because I'm able to see myself in you and you in me. This closeness does not imply a continual "togetherness", for distance and separation are sometimes essential in a loving relationship. Distance can intensify a loving bond, and it can help us rediscover ourselves, so that we are able to meet each other in a new way.

      Love is selfish. I can only love you if I genuinely love, value, appreciate, and respect myself. If I am empty, the all I can give you is my emptiness. If I feel that I'm complete and worthwhile in myself, then I'm able to give you out of my fullness. One of the best ways for me to give you love is by fully enjoying myself with you.

      Love involves seeing the potential within the person we love. In my love for another, I view her or him as the person she or he can become, while still accepting who and what the person is now.

      Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity, one's individuality. In love this paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.

      真愛(ài)的幾點(diǎn)內(nèi)涵

          愛(ài)意味著我了解我所愛(ài)的人。我了解對(duì)方的諸多方面--不僅僅是美好的一面,而且包括不足之處,矛盾之處以及各種缺點(diǎn)。

          愛(ài),指的是關(guān)心我所愛(ài)的人的幸福。如果我真關(guān)心你,就會(huì)關(guān)心你的成長(zhǎng),并希望你在一切可能的范圍內(nèi)成全自己。

          愛(ài),指的是維護(hù)我所愛(ài)的人的尊嚴(yán)。假如我愛(ài)你,我就會(huì)把你看成一個(gè)具有自己的價(jià)值觀,思想和感情的獨(dú)立的人,而不會(huì)要求你為了我而改變你的個(gè)性和屈從于我對(duì)你的期待。

          愛(ài),指的是對(duì)我所愛(ài)的人有責(zé)任心。假如我愛(ài)你,我會(huì)把你看成一個(gè)有獨(dú)立個(gè)性的人,對(duì)你的多數(shù)重要需求作出反應(yīng)。

          愛(ài),指的是我和我所愛(ài)的人能從中共同獲取成長(zhǎng)的力量。假如我愛(ài)你,我就會(huì)因我的愛(ài)而在不斷成長(zhǎng)。你將會(huì)激勵(lì)我更充分地發(fā)展我的潛能,而我對(duì)你的愛(ài)也將進(jìn)一步完善你的整個(gè)人生。

          愛(ài),指的是對(duì)我所愛(ài)的人做出某種承諾。這種承諾并非指我們之間要完全屈從于對(duì)方,也不暗指我們之間的關(guān)系一定要永久不變。它實(shí)指我們必須相互依存的決心,不管是在平靜和歡樂(lè)的日子還是在痛苦、迷茫、掙扎和失望的時(shí)候,都不分離。

          愛(ài),指的是信任我所愛(ài)的人。假如我愛(ài)你,我就會(huì)相信你會(huì)接受我的關(guān)懷和我的愛(ài),也相信你不會(huì)故意傷害我。我相信我們之間的愛(ài)有一種天然的互補(bǔ)性。

          愛(ài),須能容忍不完美。在相愛(ài)的過(guò)程中,肯定會(huì)出現(xiàn)厭煩的時(shí)候,有我想放棄的時(shí)候,有十分緊張的時(shí)候,亦有我感到無(wú)望的時(shí)候。真愛(ài)并不一定會(huì)有持久的幸福。然而,在厄境中我會(huì)堅(jiān)持下去,因?yàn)槲夷苡浧鹞覀冊(cè)谶^(guò)去共同擁有的美好時(shí)光,也能預(yù)見(jiàn),假如我們對(duì)自己的問(wèn)題給予足夠的重視并加以解決,我們會(huì)有光明的前景。

          愛(ài),是自愿的。愛(ài)只能是無(wú)償?shù)孬I(xiàn)出,而不是在需要時(shí)賒與。真愛(ài)的付出絕對(duì)沒(méi)有任何附加條件,無(wú)條件才是它的品質(zhì)。

          愛(ài),是敞開(kāi)的。假如我愛(ài)你,我會(huì)鼓勵(lì)你向外發(fā)展并建立其他人際關(guān)系。鼓勵(lì)對(duì)方去充分發(fā)展自己才是兩人相愛(ài)的真實(shí)證明。

          愛(ài),指的是渴望得到我所愛(ài)的人,而不是因?yàn)槿绷藢?duì)方自己就會(huì)不完整。假如缺少你我就無(wú)法生存,那么我就不會(huì)真有能力去愛(ài)你。

          愛(ài),指的是理解我所愛(ài)的人。假如我愛(ài)你,我會(huì)與你產(chǎn)生情感共鳴并能通過(guò)你的眼睛看世界。我之所以能理解你是因?yàn)槟阒杏形,我中有你。此種親密并不意味著兩人一刻不能分離,因?yàn)殡x別和距離有時(shí)候在兩人愛(ài)的關(guān)系中是必要的。距離能加強(qiáng)愛(ài)的紐帶,能幫助我們重新發(fā)現(xiàn)自己,因此我們能以某種新的方式認(rèn)識(shí)對(duì)方。

          愛(ài)是自我的。只有當(dāng)我真正地愛(ài)自己、珍惜自己、欣賞并尊重自己,我才能愛(ài)你。假如我空虛,那么我能給予你的也只能是空虛。假如我覺(jué)得自己充實(shí)完整并活得有價(jià)值,那么我也能給予你的就是充實(shí)完整。我愛(ài)你地最佳方式之一就是與你一起分享我的一切。

          愛(ài),指的是能看清我們所愛(ài)的人內(nèi)在的潛力。愛(ài)一個(gè)人時(shí),我會(huì)一面接受對(duì)方的現(xiàn)狀,一面把對(duì)方看成將來(lái)能成為的那種人。

          成熟的愛(ài)指的是在保持個(gè)人完整獨(dú)立性的前提下所形成的統(tǒng)一。合而為一,卻又一分為二,這就是愛(ài)中似是而非的矛盾現(xiàn)象。
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