To get yourself started in a new direction, try the Three M's.
At the University of California, my students and I surveyed more than 2,000 years of self-change techniques--perhaps most of the major self-change methods that have ever been proposed by religious leaders, philosophers, psychologists and psychiatrists. We also reviewed the scientific research literature on self-change, a topic that behavioral scientists began to explore in earnest in the 1960s.
[2] Here is what we found: Of the hundreds of self-change techniques that have been suggested over the centuries, perhaps only a dozen are distinctly different. Many have now been subjected to scientific study, meaning that researchers have tried to see which ones work best.
[3] Three deserve special mention: they're powerful, simple and easy to learn. What's more , individuals who have made successful changes in their lives--changes in eating habits, exercise regimens, career paths, coping strategies, and so on--often relied on one or more of these methods.
[4] To get yourself started in a new direction, try the Three M's:
Modify Your Environment
[5] People who have never tried this are astounded by the enormous effect it often has. One of my students got herself bicycling every day simply by putting her bicycle in her doorway before she left for school. When she returned home, that was the first thing she saw, and that's all she needed to start pedaling away. I've known several people who have overcome nail-biting simply by buying 50 nail files and distributing them everywhere: in their pockets, their desks and their bedrooms. With a nail file always within reach, they tended to groom rather than bite.
[6] My children have used this simple technique many times. Justin, my 17-year-old, often places small fluorescent reminder notes at eye level on the inside of the frame of his bedroom door. A recent one read "Remember to shampoo the dog on Saturday or Dad will kill you". (Here he was using exaggeration to good effect.)
[7] The power of rearranging one's space has been well demonstrated in studies since it was first reported in the 1960s. Psychologist Israel Goldiamond of the University of Chicago taught this technique to patients with a variety of personal problems. For example, a young woman who had difficulty studying made dramatic strides when she got a better desk lamp and moved her desk away from her bed.
[8] Psychologist Richard Stuart, who ultimately became a director at Weight Watchers International, showed in the 1960s that overweight women could lose pounds by modifying both their eating behavior and "stimulus environment"--for example, eating from smaller plates and confining all food to the kitchen. To change yourself, change your world.
要想開(kāi)辟人生新道路,試試過(guò)三個(gè)“M”。
在加利福尼亞大學(xué),我和我的學(xué)生調(diào)查了兩千多年來(lái)人們用來(lái)改變自我的技巧——也許主要方法中的大部分都是由宗教領(lǐng)袖、哲學(xué)家、心理學(xué)家和精神病專家提出的。我們還回顧了有關(guān)改變自我的科學(xué)研究文獻(xiàn)。早在20世紀(jì)60年代,改變自我就是行為科學(xué)家開(kāi)始認(rèn)真探索的課題。
[2]我們的發(fā)現(xiàn)結(jié)果如下:在幾個(gè)世紀(jì)以來(lái)人們提出的幾百種改變自我的方法中,也許僅有十來(lái)種與其他方法截然不同。許多方法至今一直是科學(xué)研究的對(duì)象,這意味著研究人員一直試圖探明其中最有效的方法。
[3]有三種方法值得特別提及:它們效力強(qiáng)大而又簡(jiǎn)單易學(xué)。此外,那些已成功改變了其人生道路的人們,也常常是依靠這些方法中的一種或多種來(lái)改變其飲食習(xí)慣、養(yǎng)生之道、事業(yè)方向和處世策略,等等。
[4]要想開(kāi)辟人生道路,試試這三個(gè)“M”:
改善周邊環(huán)境
[5]從未嘗試改善環(huán)境的人通常會(huì)對(duì)所產(chǎn)生的顯著效果感到驚奇不已。我的一個(gè)學(xué)生為了促使自己每天騎車鍛煉,采取了離家上學(xué)前將自行車放在門道里的簡(jiǎn)單方法。這樣一回家,她首先看見(jiàn)的就是那輛車,而所需做的就是騎上自行車鍛煉去。我認(rèn)識(shí)幾個(gè)人,他們?yōu)榱烁牡粢е讣椎膲牧?xí)慣而買了50把指甲挫并把它們分放到各處:口袋里,書(shū)桌上,臥室內(nèi)。由于指甲挫總能伸手可及,他們就會(huì)去修指甲,而不啃指甲了。
[6]我的孩子們多次運(yùn)用過(guò)這樣的簡(jiǎn)單技巧。我17歲的兒子賈斯廷經(jīng)常把小小的熒光紙記事便條放在他臥室門框內(nèi)側(cè)齊眼高的位置。前不久的一張上寫(xiě)道:“記著星期六給狗洗澡,否則爸爸會(huì)殺了你的。”(為了達(dá)到良好效果,他這里用的是夸張手法。)
[7]重新布置自己的空間具有很大的影響力,該觀點(diǎn)首次提出于20世紀(jì)6O年代,在諸多研究中已得到充分證明。當(dāng)時(shí),芝加哥大學(xué)的心理學(xué)家伊斯雷爾·戈戴蒙德將這一技巧傳授給那些為形形色色的私人問(wèn)題所困擾的病人。就拿一位年輕女士來(lái)說(shuō)吧,她在學(xué)習(xí)上困難重重,自從換了一個(gè)好點(diǎn)兒的臺(tái)燈并把書(shū)桌搬離開(kāi)床邊后,她在學(xué)習(xí)上就取得了長(zhǎng)足進(jìn)步。
[8]心理學(xué)家理查德·斯圖爾特最終當(dāng)上了國(guó)際體重觀察員組織的總監(jiān),他在20世紀(jì)60年代曾指出:體重過(guò)重的婦女可以通過(guò)糾正飲食習(xí)慣和改變“刺激食欲的環(huán)境”的方法來(lái)減肥——例如,用小一點(diǎn)的盤(pán)子吃飯和把食物全都集中放在廚房里。要改變自我就必須改變你周圍的世界。
Monitor Your Behavior
[9] I've been reading research studies on self-monitoring for 20 years, and I've conducted some myself. To be honest, I still don't fully understand why this technique works, but it does, and remarkably well for most people. The fact is, if you monitor what you do, you'll probably do better.
[10] Weigh yourself regularly and you may well start to lose weight. Keep a record of what you eat and you'll probably start eating more wisely.
[11] Use gizmos. If you say "you know" too much, wear a golf counter on your wrist, and press the button whenever you catch yourself saying "you know". I'll bet you say it less frequently in just a few days. If a wrist counter is embarrassing, then make a small tear in a piece of paper in your pocket each time you say "you know". The result is the same : you become more aware of what you're doing, and that makes you perform better.
[12] If techniques like this sound silly, keep in mind that the power of self-monitoring has been demonstrated by a variety of research conducted over the last four decades. In a study I published in 1978 with Claire Goss, for example, we taught a disruptive fifth-grade boy to rate his own class-room behavior twice a day. He simply checked off a score for himself, indicating how well-behaved he had been in the morning or afternoon. With his awareness increased, he stayed in his seat more than usual, completed more assignments and rarely got in trouble.
[13] A similar study by Canadian researchers Thomas McKenzie and Brent Rushall showed that teenagers arrived more promptly at a swim practice when they were given an attendance sheet to record their arrival times. Working with emotionally disturbed children, Sonya Carr of Southeastern Louisiana University and Rebecca Punzo, a New Orleans teacher reported that self-monitoring improves academic performance in reading, mathematics and spelling. Recent research even demonstrated that students will compose better stories given a simple checklist that includes elements of good writing. Dozens of studies have similar results, all spurred by height-ening our awareness of our behavior.
監(jiān)督自身行為
[9]20年來(lái)我一直在閱讀有關(guān)自我監(jiān)督的研究報(bào)告,而且自己也做過(guò)一些研究。老實(shí)說(shuō),我仍未完全弄懂,為何自我監(jiān)督這種方法行之有效,但它確實(shí)有效,而且對(duì)多數(shù)人都效果顯著。實(shí)際上,只要你常留意自己的所作所為,很可能就會(huì)表現(xiàn)得更完美。
[10]經(jīng)常稱一稱體重,你或許就會(huì)真的開(kāi)始減肥。記錄下自己每天的飲食,你可能就會(huì)更為明智地選擇用餐。
[11]試著用一些小把戲吧。如果你總是把“you know”掛在嘴邊,就在手腕上戴個(gè)高爾夫計(jì)數(shù)器,每當(dāng)意識(shí)到自己說(shuō)一次“youknow”時(shí)就按一下計(jì)數(shù)鍵。我敢打賭,過(guò)不了幾天,你就不會(huì)那么頻繁地說(shuō)起它了。倘若嫌戴腕部計(jì)數(shù)器令人難堪,那么就在每說(shuō)一次“you know”時(shí)把口袋里的一張紙弄破一個(gè)小洞。其結(jié)果是一樣的:你會(huì)變得更留意自己的行為,因而也就表現(xiàn)更佳。
[12]如果說(shuō)這樣的方法聽(tīng)起來(lái)頗為荒唐,請(qǐng)記。鹤晕冶O(jiān)督的力量已在40年來(lái)所進(jìn)行的各種研究中得到了證實(shí)。我和克萊爾·戈斯于1978年發(fā)表的一篇研究報(bào)告中就有一個(gè)實(shí)例。我們教一個(gè)愛(ài)搗亂的五年級(jí)小男孩每天對(duì)自己的課堂表現(xiàn)做兩次等級(jí)評(píng)定。他只是簡(jiǎn)單地給自己打個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù),以表明自己上午或下午表現(xiàn)得如何好。隨著自我監(jiān)測(cè)意識(shí)的增強(qiáng),他比平常更能待在座位上,完成的作業(yè)也更多了,而且很少再惹麻煩了。
[13]加拿大研究人員托馬斯·麥肯齊和布倫特·拉希爾所做的一項(xiàng)類似研究表明,在青少年拿到出勤單以紀(jì)錄出勤時(shí)間后,他們會(huì)更加及時(shí)地趕到,參加游泳訓(xùn)練。東南路易斯安那大學(xué)的索尼亞·卡爾和新奧爾良教師麗貝卡·龐佐在研究過(guò)情緒失常兒童后發(fā)表報(bào)告稱,自我監(jiān)督能改善這些孩子在閱讀、數(shù)學(xué)和拼寫(xiě)方面的學(xué)習(xí)表現(xiàn)。最近的研究甚至表明,學(xué)生只要得到一張含有優(yōu)秀寫(xiě)作要素的簡(jiǎn)要清單,就能寫(xiě)出更好的故事來(lái)。大量研究都取得了類似的結(jié)果,而且都是通過(guò)加強(qiáng)自我行為意識(shí)而得出的。
Make Commitments
[14] When you make a commitment to another person, you establish what psychologists call a contingency of reinforcement; you've automatically arranged for a reward if you comply and a punishment if you don't. It puts some pressure on you, and that's often just what you need.
[15] For instance, if you want to exercise more, arrange to do it with a friend. If you don't show up, your friend will get angry, and that may be just the ticket to keeping you punctual. Decades of research have demonstrated the power of this strategy. For example, in 1994 Dana Putnam and other researchers at the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University showed that patients who made written commitments were far more likely to take prescribed medicine than patients who hadn't. Mary Lou Kau and Joel Fischer of the University of Hawaii reported a case of a woman who got herself to jog regularly by setting up a simple arrangement with her husband: he paid her quarters and took her out on weekends whenever she met her jogging goals.
[16] There's good news here for all of us. We can meet many of the demands and overcome many of the challenges of life with simple skills--straightforward practices that anyone can master and that don't require willpower--in other words, with skill, not will.
許下諾言
[14]當(dāng)你向別人許諾時(shí),你就形成了心理學(xué)家所說(shuō)的“后效強(qiáng)化”這么一種情況。一旦實(shí)現(xiàn)承諾,你自然早已準(zhǔn)備好得到嘉獎(jiǎng);如果食言,面臨的就是懲罰。這將給你帶來(lái)壓力,而通常這也正是你所需要的。
[15]比方說(shuō),如果你想加強(qiáng)鍛煉,那么就安排和朋友一起鍛煉吧。假如你到時(shí)沒(méi)露面,你的朋友就會(huì)生氣,這或許正是督促你守時(shí)的一種手段。幾十年的研究已證實(shí)了這一措施的效力。例如在1994年,弗吉尼亞理工學(xué)院和州立大學(xué)的達(dá)納·帕特南等研究人員證明,作出書(shū)面承諾的病人遠(yuǎn)比未作書(shū)面保證的病人更能按醫(yī)囑服藥。夏威夷大學(xué)瑪莉·盧·考和喬爾·費(fèi)希爾報(bào)告過(guò)一位婦女的案例,這位女士使自己堅(jiān)持慢跑鍛煉的方法就是和丈夫達(dá)成了一項(xiàng)簡(jiǎn)短的協(xié)議----無(wú)論何時(shí),只要她實(shí)現(xiàn)了慢跑目標(biāo),丈夫都給她一些零錢,并在周末陪她出去玩。
[16]對(duì)我們大家來(lái)說(shuō)這都是好消息。要滿足生命中這諸多要求并克服眾多挑戰(zhàn),我們只需運(yùn)用簡(jiǎn)單技巧——而這些技巧是任何人都能掌握并且無(wú)需意志力的實(shí)踐操作——換句話說(shuō),只用技巧,而非意志。