It's not easy talking to a relative or friend who is dying. What if you say the wrong thing? But dying can be an isolating business if your friends and relatives are too scared to speak to you. Be yourself, but talk less and listen more.
1. Most people will know they are dying - these days doctors tell them. This doesn't mean they only want to talk about that; take your cue from them. "How are you feeling?" is often enough to start a conversation. If they are scared, don't tell them not to worry. Ask for specifics - people often fear the process of dying and worry how those they love will manage afterwards. Ask how you can help.
2. Try to avoid saying you know how they feel - you really don't. But it's fine to tell someone you love them and will miss them, as is crying.
3. If they are close to you, you could suggest ways in which you can remember them; putting together a box of memories or making a DVD of them. Discussing your shared history and what you've meant to each other can be comforting for both of you.
4. Talking about dying is not obligatory - some people and cultures shy away from it. It's also fine to sit quietly.
5. Psychologist Susan Wright advises allowing the person to feel they are still alive. "Don't make everything about how awful it is. When someone is dying the quality of their life is very important."
與垂死的親人或朋友談話實屬不易。若是你講錯了什么話怎么辦?可如果你的朋友和親人非常害怕和你談話,等死就會是孤獨無助的事情。所以,做好你自己,要少說話、多傾聽。
1. 很多人都會知道他們自己將死--因為現(xiàn)在的醫(yī)生會告訴他們。但這不意味著他們只想和你去談論死亡,你該學學他們。用"你感覺怎樣?"來開始談話就足夠了。如果他們害怕,就別告訴他們不要擔心。問問他們的具體要求--人們常?謶炙劳龅倪^程并擔心所愛之人如何處理后事。問問你能提供什么幫助吧。
2.盡量避免說你知道他們的感覺如何--其實你真的不知道。但你哽咽著告訴他你是愛他的并會懷念他,這是可以的。
3.如果他們親近你,你可以和他們討論一下你會用什么方式紀念他們--和他們一起制作記憶盒或者為他們制作DVD.談論你們共同經(jīng)歷過的事情以及及你們對彼此意味著什么,這可以安撫你們雙方。
4.談論死亡不是必須,某些人和有的文化會回避它。默默靜坐就好。
5.心理學家蘇珊·萊特(Susan Wright )建議令這個人去感覺自己還活著。"不要總把每件事情都和(死亡)有多可怕扯上關系。當某人將死,他的生活質(zhì)量是非常重要的。"