Imagine finding out what your friends, co-workers, exes, crushes and acquaintances really think of your personality, body, attitude or intelligence. A lot of people are talking about a Facebook app that lets you solicit anonymous feedback from people who know you. Some say it can help you be the best you possible, others fear that it's downright hurtful and scary. Where do you stand on the matter? I'll start off by telling you a really embarrassing story…
Once, when I was out to lunch at a restaurant with a bunch of colleagues, I got up to use the restroom, and as I returned to the table, I had this feeling that people were eying me. I shrugged it off, thinking they were probably ogling my enormous 8-months pregnant belly.
Um, no. About 10 minutes later, two women walked over to my table--in front of everyone--and dropped a folded napkin in my lap. They giggled as they quickly walked away. Of course, everyone at the table stared at me as I unfolded the napkin and read what it said:
"We just wanted you to know that you have toilet paper hanging off of your pants."
I turned five shades of fuchsia as I turned around and noticed that I had a 4-foot-long strand of toilet paper (clean--it wasn't that bad) wedged into the elastic waist of my maternity pants.
Of course, I was glad to know the toilet paper was there. But I was sohumiliated! Part of me wished I'd just discovered it myself as I stood up and grabbed my coat. There's something sort of blissful about believing that people don't notice your flaws and flubs, isn't there?
That's why I'm a little on the fence about the Facebook application called Honesty Box. Here's how it works: You download the app to your Facebook page and people can go in and anonymously tell you what they think of you. Anything goes! You might find out that someone thinks you're gorgeous, or not. Or that someone has been holding a grudge against you since the seventh grade and still hates your guts. All is fair game with Honesty Box.
Psychology Today recently highlighted the app in their current issue in a feature about "how to see yourself as others see you."
The good: A program like this could help you get a better view of yourself, fix potential problems, and become your best self.
The bad: It could also lower your self image with comments and cheap shots from people who are just trying to be hurtful, not necessarily honest. Example: Do you really need to know that someone didn't like the outfit you wore to work today? (Note: There have been reports of cyber-stalking and bullying via Honesty Box.)
想象一下,知道你的朋友,同時(shí),前男友,群眾和熟人是如何真實(shí)的看待你的個(gè)性,身體,態(tài)度或者智慧。很多人正在談?wù)撘粋(gè)可以獲得匿名好友反饋信息的Facebook應(yīng)用程序。一些人認(rèn)為它可以使你變得更完美,其他人害怕這簡直就是傷害和恐懼。你對于這個(gè)問題的立場是什么?我將從講述一個(gè)真實(shí)的尷尬故事開始。
一次,當(dāng)我和一群同事去餐廳吃飯。我站起來去用洗手間,當(dāng)我回到座位上時(shí),我有種大家都在盯著我看的感覺。我聳了聳肩,認(rèn)為他們肯能是在看我那8個(gè)月身孕的腹部。
恩,不。大約10分鐘以后,兩個(gè)婦女走到我的桌邊--在大家面前--將一張折疊的餐巾紙放在我膝蓋上。當(dāng)她們離開時(shí)咯咯的笑。當(dāng)我打開餐巾讀它時(shí)紙桌上的每一個(gè)人都在注視著我。
我們只是想讓你知道衛(wèi)生紙吊在你的褲子上。
我轉(zhuǎn)過身,注意到我身上有一條4英尺長的衛(wèi)生紙(干凈的--那不是太糟糕)嵌入我產(chǎn)假褲的腰圍里。
當(dāng)然,我很高興知道廁紙?jiān)谀抢铩5俏液苄呷!我希望?dāng)我解手后穿衣服的時(shí)候正好發(fā)現(xiàn)它的。我也幾分高興大家沒有注意到我的尷尬,不是好嗎?
這就是為什么我對于叫"Honesty Box"的Facebook應(yīng)用程序有點(diǎn)抱觀望態(tài)度。下面是它的使用方法:你下載這個(gè)應(yīng)用程序到你的Facebook頁面,然后人們就可以進(jìn)入(它),匿名告訴你他們怎么看待你了。
事情發(fā)生了!你也許發(fā)現(xiàn)一些人認(rèn)為你是慷慨的,或者不是;蛘咭恍┤俗詮7年級開始一直對你有怨恨,仍然討厭你的膽量。一切都顯示在Honesty Box游戲里。
心理學(xué)家最近提到這個(gè)應(yīng)用程序在他們的現(xiàn)期刊物的一個(gè)關(guān)于"如何看待自己如同他人看待你"的專題文章中。
優(yōu)點(diǎn):像這樣的程序可以幫助你獲得一個(gè)更好的了解自己,解決潛在的問題,成為最好的自我。
缺點(diǎn):它也能降低你的自我想象因?yàn)閬碜阅切┯泻Φ脑u論和道德攻擊,未必誠實(shí)地(評論和道德攻擊).你真的喜歡知道有人不喜歡你今天的工作服?(注意:曾有報(bào)告通過網(wǎng)絡(luò)跟蹤,并通過Honesty Box發(fā)布欺詐消息。)