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      二十個方法讓你擁有快樂,保持快樂

      放大字體  縮小字體 發(fā)布日期:2009-04-07
      核心提示:Happiness is difficult to define and even harder to measure. We experience it as a combination of elements, in the same way that one wheel or spring inside a watch doesn't keep time it is a result of the synchronicity of the whole. As a relative sta


      Happiness is difficult to define and even harder to measure. We experience it as a combination of elements, in the same way that one wheel or spring inside a watch doesn't keep time — it is a result of the synchronicity of the whole. As a relative state, happiness is what psychologists call our "subjective well-being" and, fortunately for us, it is a state that we can actively change for the better. Here are 20 ways to start.

      快樂難以界定,更難以測量。我們體驗到的快樂是由綜合因素組成。就好像一塊手表里的齒輪或發(fā)條讓表走不準(zhǔn)--它是一個整體的同步的結(jié)果?鞓肥且环N相對的狀態(tài),被心理學(xué)者稱之為“主觀幸福感", 因此,對我們來說,幸運地是,我們能積極主動地向好的方向來改變這樣的狀態(tài)。 可以從下面的二十個辦法著手:

      Count Your Blessings

      算算你的福氣

      Count your blessings — but not everyday. Sonja Lyubomirsky, an experimental psychologist at UC Riverside, found that people who once a week wrote down five things they were grateful for were happier than those who did it three times a week. "It's an issue of timing or frequency," says Lyubomirsky, "When people do anything too often it loses the freshness and meaning. You need to have optimal timing." Lyubomirsky added that it has to feel right. She tried to count her blessings and hated it. "I found it hokey. It didn't work for me. Just like a diet program, what you do has to fit your lifestyle, personality and goals." In essence, gratitude might not be for everyone. But if it is, another exercise is to think of a person who has been kind to you that you've wanted to thank — a teacher, mentor or parent — and write a letter, once a week to different individuals over two months. You don't even have to send it to feel happier.

      算算你的祝福--但不要每天算。 Riverside大學(xué)實驗心理學(xué)家Sonja Lyubomirsky發(fā)現(xiàn),一星期寫一次五件自己覺得感激的事情的人們要比那些一星期寫三次的人們更為快樂。 ”這是一個時機把握或頻次的問題“Lyubomirsky說”當(dāng)人們做任何事情過于頻繁,那件事情就會失去新鮮度和意義。你需要找到最佳的時機“ Lyubomirsky補充道,還必須讓自己感到適合。她就曾嘗試數(shù)自己的福氣,后來厭惡這么做。”我覺得這么做是虛情假意。對我起不到作用。就像減肥計劃,你做的要適合你的生活方式,你的個性和目標(biāo)“ 。實質(zhì)上講就是,可能感激之情并非是人人都擁有的。但是如果你有的話,還有一個方法就是想想一向?qū)δ阌焉,讓你曾想要感謝的一位人--老師,師傅或者是父母--一周寫給這些不同的人寫一封,持續(xù)兩個月。即便你不把信發(fā)出去,也能感到心情更加舒暢。

      Hear the Music

      聽音樂

      Whether regarded as an evolutionary accident that piggybacked on language or as the gateway to our emotions, music activates parts of the brain that can trigger happiness, releasing endorphins similar to the ways that sex and food do. Music can also relax the body, sometimes into sleep as it stimulates the brain's release of melatonin. A study of older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery showed that they had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure, and their hearts did not work as hard as those who underwent surgery without music. A second study, of patients undergoing colonoscopy, showed that listening to their selection of music reduced their anxiety levels and lessened the dosage required for sedation.

      無論被視為人類進(jìn)化中承載于語言上的一次意外,還是通往感情的窗戶,它都激活了大腦中能夠觸發(fā)快樂感的部分,和性和食物相似的方式釋放內(nèi)啡肽。而且,音樂可以放松身體,有時候刺激刺激腦部釋放褪黑激素,讓身體進(jìn)入睡眠。對老年人的一項研究發(fā)現(xiàn),在進(jìn)行門診外眼科手術(shù)中聆聽自己選擇的音樂的人們的心率和血壓有顯著降低,他們心臟沒有那些接受”無音樂“手術(shù)的人跳動猛烈。另一項對結(jié)腸鏡病人的研究顯示,聆聽自己選擇的音樂降低了他們的焦慮程度,并減少了所需要的鎮(zhèn)靜劑量。

      Snog. Canoodle. Get It On.

      卿卿我我.“興奮”

      It's no secret that a roll in the hay, and all that leads up to it, feels good. Endorphins are the neurotransmitters in your brain that reduce pain and, in the absence of pain, can induce euphoria. A rush of such chemicals might seem like a temporary solution to a dreary day, but there are added benefits, not the least of which is expressing affection and strengthening the bonds of a relationship. Oxytocin is released by the pituitary gland upon orgasm; often referred to as the "hormone of love" or the "cuddle chemical," it is associated with feelings of bonding and trust, and can even reduce stress.

      ”干草堆里的浪漫一滾“或者任何最終導(dǎo)致那個的事情,都讓人感覺良好。你大腦中的內(nèi)啡肽是你腦中的神經(jīng)遞質(zhì),能夠減輕疼痛,在沒有疼痛的情況下,可以引起欣快感。一陣這類的化學(xué)物質(zhì)也許就像是你沉悶一天的臨時解決辦法,但是還有些其他的好處。其中少不了表達(dá)感情,加強彼此的關(guān)系。在高潮的時候,腦垂體會釋放出催產(chǎn)素; 它通常被稱為"愛的激素"或"依偎化學(xué)物" ,是與結(jié)合,信任的感情有聯(lián)系,還甚至可以減輕壓力.

      Nurture Your Spirituality

      培養(yǎng)心靈精神

      Survey after survey shows that people with strong religious faith — of any religion or denomination — are happier than those who are irreligious. David Myers, a social psychologist at Michigan's Hope College, says that faith provides social support, a sense of purpose and a reason to focus beyond the self, all of which help root people in their communities. That seems reason enough to get more involved at the local church, temple or mosque. For the more inwardly focused, deep breathing during meditation and prayer can slow down the body and reduce stress, anxiety and physical tension to allow better emotions and energy to come forward.

      一次又一次的調(diào)查都表明,有強烈宗教信仰的的人們--任何宗教或教派--比那些不信教的人們要快樂。密西根的Hope大學(xué)的一位社會心理學(xué)家David Myers說,心靈精神能提供社會支持,一種使命感、及關(guān)注自我以外事物的一個理由,所有這一切都能讓人們在各種社區(qū)中找到根源。這似乎有足夠的理由讓人們更多去參與加入到當(dāng)?shù)亟烫,廟宇,或清真寺. 對那些側(cè)重內(nèi)心的人們來說,靜坐中深呼吸并做祈禱能減緩身體,減少內(nèi)心壓力、焦慮和身體緊張感。讓更好的情緒和能量產(chǎn)生。

      Move Your Body

      動動身體

      We've all heard about a "runner's high," but there are plenty of other ways to achieve that feeling. Dance. Play a sport. Work out as hard as you can. Take a walk so your stress will take a hike. Moving your body releases endorphins, the quintessential feel-good chemicals found in your brain. How endorphin release is triggered by exercise is somewhat of a controversial science because researchers don't know if it is caused by the positive emotion felt upon meeting a physical challenge or from the exertion itself. Either way, physical motion can provide a rush of good energy that can lift a mood, be it anxiety or mild depression, and it's a good way to keep healthy.

      我們都聽說過“跑步興奮”,但也有許多其他方式來獲得這樣的感覺。跳舞、進(jìn)行種體育運動、盡可能充分鍛煉身體。散散步,這樣你的壓力將會溜走。運動身體會釋放內(nèi)啡肽,一種極寶貴的“讓你感覺良好”的化學(xué)物質(zhì)。內(nèi)啡肽是如何被運動鍛煉而觸發(fā)有點像是具有爭議的科學(xué),因為研究人員們不知道到底是否由于遇到一種體力挑戰(zhàn)的時候人感到的積極情緒而引起,還是自身釋放出來的。無論是那一種,體力運動都能夠提供一陣好的,能解除不好情緒的能量,不論這樣的心情是焦慮還是輕微郁悶。 運動是保持健康好方法。

      Laugh Big

      哈哈大笑

      Be it a slew of good jokes, a slapstick comedy or laughing yoga, find something to give you a good hearty laugh that brings tears to the eyes or a giggle fit that makes the sides of your body ache. People are 30 times more likely to laugh in groups than alone and, not surprisingly, laughter is associated with helping to develop person-to-person connections through a feedback loop characterized by laughter, social bonding and more laughter. Laughter, like so many other endorphin-triggers, helps to reduce certain stress hormones and, while it might be contagious, it strengthens your immune system rather than weakening it.

      不管是一大堆笑話、鬧劇或者是讓人發(fā)笑的瑜伽,尋一些讓你帶著淚水發(fā)出開懷大笑,或者一個讓你咯咯笑的全身酸痛的東西。在群體中人們發(fā)笑的幾率是獨處時候的三十倍,不足為奇的是,通過以笑建立一個反饋回路的方式,幫助建立起人與人之間的關(guān)系,社交凝結(jié)和更多的笑聲。笑聲,像許多其它內(nèi)啡肽觸發(fā)器一樣,能幫助減少一定程度的應(yīng)激激素,而且還可能就有感染力,增強你的免疫系統(tǒng),而不是削弱它。

      Do Something Nice for Someone Else

      為別人做些好事

      Hold a door open for someone at the bank, give someone directions if they look lost or make a point to compliment three people on your way to work. Small or big, directed at friends or strangers, random acts of kindness make the person performing the kind act happier when they're grouped together, according to Sonja Lyubomirsky, an experimental psychologist at UC Riverside. Doing a considerate thing for another person five times in one day made the doer happier than if they had spread out those five acts over one week. Lyubomirsky explains that because we all perform acts of kindness naturally, it seems to please us more when we're more conscious of it. There are social rewards, too, when people respond positively.

      銀行門前給別人打開門,如果有人迷了路,給他指路,或者在你上班的路上故意稱贊三個人。根據(jù),UC Riverside的實驗心理學(xué)家Sonja Lyubomirsky說,或大或小,針對朋友或陌生人,善意的隨意舉動讓做出此舉動的人將會當(dāng)同那些人聚在一起的時候更快樂。一天內(nèi)對別人做出五次照顧周到的事的人要比將五次分散地放到一周去做的人要更為快樂。Lyubomirsky解釋說,因為我們都是自然地去做善意的事情,似乎當(dāng)我們更能意識到這點,就更能讓我們滿足。 當(dāng)有人們積極的回應(yīng),就還有社會獎勵。

      Make More Money Than Your Peers

      比你的同行賺更多的錢

      Midas might have been an unhappy guy, but that's probably because he didn't know any other kings who could also turn things into gold. Money as an absolute may not make you a happier person but making more money than others in your age group does, according to a sociological study done in 2005 by researchers at Pennsylvania State University. But keeping up with the Joneses isn't the only way that money brings happiness. Saving it for retirement or a rainy day brings together a variety of positive emotions that can lead to happiness, such as anticipation and expectation, a sense of delayed gratification and reward.

      麥得斯(譯注:點石成金的那個國王)也許他其實不是一個快樂的家伙,不過這恐怕是因為他不認(rèn)識有任何其它能把東西能點石成金的國王。根據(jù)賓夕法尼亞州州立大學(xué)的2005年一項社會學(xué)調(diào)查表示,金錢,作為一種純粹事物的時候并不會讓你更加地快樂,但要是在同齡人中,掙錢比別人更多的話卻能。“攀比”并不是讓金錢帶來快樂的唯一方式。 為退休,或哪天天有不測而存錢會把各式各樣最終能帶來快樂的積極情緒聚集到一起,例如,期望和指望,延期的滿足感和獎勵感。

      Seek Positive Emotion as a Path to Success

      尋求積極的情緒是通往成功的道路

      Happiness can lead to success, rather than just the other way around. Happy individuals are predisposed to seek out new opportunities and set new goals. After reviewing data of 225 studies gathered from more than 275,000 individuals, a team of psychologists concluded that while previous research assumed that happiness stemmed from success and accomplishment, happiness is often a result of positive emotions. Success is the result of many factors, including physical health, intelligence, family and expertise.

      快樂可導(dǎo)致成功,而不是反過來?鞓返膫人會傾向于尋找新的機會和新的目標(biāo)。在審閱了225份,二十七萬五千多人的數(shù)據(jù)之后,一個心里學(xué)家小組得出了結(jié)論:盡管以往的研究認(rèn)為快樂是源自于成功和成就,但是往往快樂是是積極情緒的產(chǎn)物。成功是因為許多因素。這些因素包括:身體健康,智力,家庭,和專長技能。

      Identify With Your Heritage

      認(rèn)同自身傳統(tǒng)

      Whether it's getting comfy with a Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel, dancing at a Japanese Obon festival or scarfing down a hot dog at Coney Island, embrace your culture. Appreciating one's culture creates and strengthens bonds with others who share that culture and also allows one to identify and appreciate cultural difference. A recent study showed that adolescents of Mexican and Chinese ethnicity maintained feelings of happiness despite daily stress when they had a strong sense of cultural identity. In other research, psychologists found an association between stable cultural identity and overall positive emotion in African American and Native American communities.

      無論是看馬奎斯小說而感到渾身自在,還是在日本奧馮節(jié)日上翩翩起舞,還是在Coney Island大嚼一塊熱狗: 擁抱你的文化。欣賞自己的文化能產(chǎn)生和增強與同樣分享這種文化的人們之間的感情紐帶,還能夠使你辨認(rèn),并去欣賞文化差異。最近一項研究顯示,雖然在美國年輕的墨西哥人和華人盡管每天面對生活壓力,可是當(dāng)他們有一種強烈的文化認(rèn)同感,則會一直保持心情愉快。在其他一項研究中,心理學(xué)家們發(fā)現(xiàn)在非裔美國人和美國原住民社區(qū)當(dāng)中,穩(wěn)定的文化認(rèn)同感和整體的積極情緒之間存在關(guān)系。

      Use a Happy Memory as a Guide

      用一段快樂記憶做向?qū)?/p>

      Learn to scan your memory bank for your strengths, talents, passions, interests, practical coping skills, and earlier potential — whether it's actualized or not. Scanning this memory bank and gleaning material that can be used to reinvent yourself to be happier is key, says Barbara Becker-Holstein, psychologist and author of Enchanted Self: A Positive Therapy. For example, someone who would like to be more altruistic can scan their past and know that they didn't like Girl Scouts in elementary school. That crosses off being a PTA mother. But they might remember that as a child they enjoyed collecting soda bottles and giving the money to the local fire station where they knew the firefighters. That person might consider giving money and time to a local group where they can socialize with people rather than mailing in a check to a distant organization. "Looking at one's personal style, tastes and interests as we look for ways to be happy today is very important," says Becker-Holstein.

      學(xué)會“掃描”你的“記憶銀行”,找出你的優(yōu)點,才華,激情,興趣,實用技能,早時候的潛能--無論它實現(xiàn)與否。掃描這樣的“記憶銀行”,挑揀出那些能用于重新創(chuàng)造自己,讓自己變得更加快樂的東西,這點是關(guān)鍵。
      ” 讓你變強:一份積極的配方“一書作者,心理學(xué)家貝克爾-荷爾斯泰因,芭芭拉說。例如,一個過去更喜歡利他主義者的人能夠掃描過去,知道她們不喜歡小學(xué)里的女童子軍,那樣的話,就成為排除成為一個參加家長-老師協(xié)會的母親。但她們可能還記得,自己還是小孩子的時候,喜歡收集汽水瓶子,把得來的錢給當(dāng)?shù)叵勒,在那里,結(jié)識了消防員。那么,此人可以考慮把錢和時間捐給當(dāng)?shù)匾粋能結(jié)交朋友的群體,而不是把一張支票發(fā)到遙遠(yuǎn)的某一個組織。貝克爾-荷爾斯泰因說: “在我們尋找快樂方法的時候,先看看自己的風(fēng)格、品味、愛好,這點很重要” 貝克爾-荷爾斯泰因說。

      Play the Part of an Optimist

      照著樂觀者去做

      Optimism is a learned skill and there are a variety of ways to acquire it, says psychologist Mary Ann Troiani, co-author of Spontaneous Optimism. Through her research, Troiani has come up with three things that you can do to enhance your sense of optimism. First, straighten out your body before your emotions by keeping a straight body posture, taking big steps and walking quickly with your shoulders back and your head up. "People who are pessimistic walk slowly with small steps and their head down," she says. Second, change your tone of voice so that it is cheerful and full of energy. Third, use upbeat or happier words, such as "challenge" rather than "problem," or think of "opportunities" rather than "losses." "Positive thoughts and behavior have a positive impact on the brain's biochemistry," she says. "[They] boost your serotonin levels and signal that you're happy. Your brain will catch up to you." Troiani reminds us: it takes about 4 to 6 weeks to really change a habit.

      樂觀主義是一種學(xué)來的本事,并且有各種各樣的辦法來獲取。 ”自發(fā)樂觀主義“一書的合著者,心理學(xué)家瑪麗.安.特羅亞尼說。通過她的研究,特羅亞尼想到了你能做的三件事來提高樂觀感:第一:在情緒到來之前,端正你的姿態(tài)。可以伸直腰板,大步走路,走路生風(fēng),挺胸,抬頭。她說:”悲觀的人們走起路來是慢慢吞吞,跨小步,低著頭“ 其次,改變你說話的音調(diào),使之更加開朗,充滿活力。第三,用積極向上,活潑快樂的詞匯,如”挑戰(zhàn)“而不是”問題“,或者認(rèn)為是”機遇”而不是“損失“。她說:”積極的想法和行為對大腦的生化物質(zhì)有一個積極的沖擊力。[它們]能刺激你的5-羥色胺的水平,發(fā)出表明你快樂的信號。而你的腦子就會趕上你.”   特羅亞尼提醒我們:需時約4至6個星期才能真正改變一種習(xí)慣。

      Try New Things

      嘗試新鮮的事物

      Stop putting off seeing the aurora lights, warming up in the hot springs of Greenland or learning a new instrument — just do it. If you often do one thing that makes you happy, then try another. Psychologist Rich Walker of Winston-Salem State University looked at 30,000 event memories and over 500 diaries, ranging from durations of 3 months to 4 years, and says that people who engage in a variety of experiences are more likely to retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones than people who have fewer experiences. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson, at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill, studies her broaden-and-build hypothesis of positive emotion. Her research suggests that the optimal ratio of positive to negative emotion in humans is above 3 to 1 and below 11 to 1. Walker has observed that once the ratio of positive to negative events hit 1 to 1, it opens the door to potential disorders, such as anxiety and depression.

      不要把看極光,到格陵蘭島泡溫泉,或者學(xué)新樂器。。。--想做就做。如果讓你快樂的總是做同一件事情,那么試著做其它的事情吧。來自溫斯頓塞勒姆州立大學(xué)心理學(xué)家瑞奇.沃克看了三萬多件事情的回憶,和五百多本日記,歷時從三個月到四年,他說道,有各種各樣經(jīng)歷的人們比經(jīng)歷較少的人更容易留住積極的情緒,和最大減少消極情緒。 在北卡萊羅納教堂山大學(xué)的心理學(xué)家巴巴拉 Fredrickson在研究如何拓寬和建立積極情緒的假說。她的研究暗示了積極情緒和消極情緒的最佳比例是在3:1之上、11:1之下。沃克曾指出一旦積極和負(fù)面事件所呈比例到達(dá)了1:1,那么就會給潛在的感情紊亂敞開大門,如焦慮、抑郁。

      Tell Your Story to Someone
      把你的故事講給別人聽

      Talking about the good and bad things that happen can lead to happiness — even if it is from opposite ends of the phone line. In a controlled lab experiment, psychologist Rich Walker of Winston-Salem State University found that the reasons are two-fold: people tend to emphasize positive emotions and mitigate negative ones when telling a story, since memory's natural bias is to keep tabs on the good stuff and gradually lose the emotional intensity of a bad event; and the process of storytelling can affect how one feels about what happened even up to a week later. In other words, talking about a negative experience made the emotional intensity of that memory fade faster than if the event had not been recounted. Walker says that storytelling works best when there is a lot of audience diversity — it helps to tell the story many times to a variety of people.

      把好的、不好的事情說出來可導(dǎo)致快樂--即是對方在電話那頭。在一項受控制的實驗室實驗中,溫斯頓塞勒姆州立大學(xué)州立大學(xué)的心理學(xué)家瑞奇.沃克發(fā)現(xiàn)原因有兩點:在講一段事情的時候,人們往往會強調(diào)正面的情緒,而減輕負(fù)面的情緒,這是由于記憶存在自然的偏見,它會把好東西記住,把壞事件的情緒程度逐漸地丟失;故事講述的過程可以對即便是已經(jīng)發(fā)生了一周以后,人們的感受產(chǎn)生影響。換句話說,講述消極經(jīng)歷會讓那段記憶的感情程度減少的速度要比假設(shè)不講述的時候要快。沃克說,面對許多不同聽眾講故事的效果最好--這有利于把故事多次講述個不同的人聽。

      Balance Work and Home
      平衡工作和家庭

      The grin of our society is blue-toothed. With BlackBerrys and corporate email at home, we are tethered to technology unlike any previous generation. This newfound flexibility between our work and private lives works for some people but is problematic for others. In 2003, Michigan State University researchers found that those who establish boundaries between work and home are more connected to their families and have less conflict than those who integrate the two. The researchers divided people into what they call integrators and separators and suggested that knowing the appropriate boundaries between work and home can have an impact and improve happiness.

      社會笑的時候,露的都是“藍(lán)牙”。自從家中有了BlackBerrys和公司郵件,我們就被從未有過地被拴到科技上。對于有些人來說新獲得的工作與私人生活間的靈活性沒問題,但對于其它人來說是存在疑問。在2003年,密西根州立大學(xué)的研究者們發(fā)現(xiàn)將工作、家庭劃清界線的人同比起把兩者混為一談的人比起來與家人關(guān)系要更為親密,發(fā)生的沖突更少。的人來說。研究者們把人們分為“整合者"”和“分立者”,并建議說知道工作家庭之間適當(dāng)界限能產(chǎn)生效果,提高快樂。

      Be Like the Danes: Keep Expectations Realistic

      學(xué)丹麥人:保持現(xiàn)實的期望

      Last year, the first world map of happiness was produced, and Denmark came out on top. For more than 30 years, the nation has ranked first in European satisfaction surveys. Researchers in the British Medical Journal tried to understand why the Danes felt more satisfied than the Swedes or Finns, who share similar aspects of culture, and came up with two plausible explanations: the lasting impact of the Danes' victory in the 1992 European Football Championship has kept them in a state of euphoria since; and the nation, while satisfied, has shown low expectations for the coming year, unlike the Greeks and the Italians who rank low on satisfaction. While there were other reasons that contributed to the satisfaction of the Danes, one thing is clear: the higher one's expectations, the further they fall.

      去年,第一屆世界快樂感地圖誕生,丹麥人一舉勝出。 三十多年來,丹麥在歐洲滿足感調(diào)查中都是排名第一。
      ”英國醫(yī)學(xué)雜志“ 的研究者們試圖搞清楚為什么丹麥人滿足程度超過了瑞士人和芬蘭人。他們都有著相似文化。研究者們得出兩種可能的解釋:在1992年丹麥人在歐洲足球錦標(biāo)賽上的勝利讓丹麥人一直保持了自快感的狀態(tài);知足了的丹麥人對來年的期望很低,而不是像滿足感程度很低的希臘人和意大利人那樣。雖然有其它原因造成丹麥人的高滿足感,有一點是明確的:期望越高,失望越大。

      Make Time
      找時間

      Society is plagued by time bankruptcy. But what if people asserted more control over their time to optimize their use of it? "Maybe you need to burn bridges, discard habits or situations that waste time and avoid emotional vampires," says Mary Ann Troiani, co-author of Spontaneous Optimism. "It's like house-cleaning at that point." Psychologists will say prioritize, set realistic daily goals that fit into the bigger picture and some time might be recovered. Troiani usually asks one pointed question to shock her clients out of their rut: How would you feel in two or three years if you still feel this way? "People sit there like a deer in headlights," she says. Her response: picture and imagine what you want to feel like. Maybe set aside two nights in your calendar to focus on those things that you'd like to spend more time on. Or as she puts it: cut the chase.

      社會中到處存在"時間破產(chǎn)"。但是如果人們對他們的時間能夠更多地控制,以盡其用呢?”自發(fā)樂觀主義“一書的共同作者,瑪麗.安.特羅亞尼所 “你也許就需要去燒掉撲克、拋棄習(xí)慣或者避免浪費時間的情形,以及躲避"感情吸血鬼“的人。 至此,那就好像是在家中打掃衛(wèi)生” 心理學(xué)家將要說要制定其實可行的,融入大局的生活目標(biāo),按輕重緩急執(zhí)行,這樣也許能挽救一些時間“。特羅亞尼要給客戶帶來休克時提出的一個尖銳的問題是:如果你還是覺得這樣的話,請問一、兩年后你會作何感想? ”人們就好像是一頭被車燈照到的鹿---愣住了“ 她說。她的答復(fù):圖形化、想象一下你希望的感覺。也許在你一周的生活安排上騰出兩個晚上,做你想花更多時間去做的事情。或者正如她所說的:不要趕了。

      Visualize Happiness

      構(gòu)想快樂

      We are unique creatures in that we can mentally simulate situations by remembering the past and visualizing the future. We can also play a hand at perhaps creating the future — at least in terms of preparing our emotional state for what may come. It's a valuable tool and one that can lead to happiness when applied to specific goals. There is much research behind visualization and emotional changes, as it has been shown that positive thoughts have an impact on the brain's biochemistry. Many psychologists ask people to imagine or picture what they would like in their life, creating a mental state that makes the person think that it is achievable. "If you experience that visualization with your eyes closed, your mind doesn't know if it's real or unreal," says Mary Ann Troiani, co-author of Spontaneous Optimism. "Neuropsychological ways makes them feel as though they have it and tricks the mind into thinking they have [what they are visualizing] now. It makes them more confident about it."

      我們是獨一無二的動物,因為我們可以用心智去模擬過去、想象未來。同樣,我們能加入到未來的開創(chuàng)中去--至少從讓自己的感情狀態(tài)對可能發(fā)生什么事情準(zhǔn)備就緒這方面來說。想象快樂一個有價值的工具,一種當(dāng)所想象的目標(biāo)是明確的話就能導(dǎo)致快樂的工具。人們對想象和感情變化進(jìn)行了許多研究。正如已經(jīng)展示出的那樣,積極的思維對大腦的生化物質(zhì)會產(chǎn)生影響。許多心理學(xué)家讓人們想象或大腦中圖形化生活中所喜愛的東西,這創(chuàng)造出了一種讓人感覺可做到的精神狀態(tài)。”自發(fā)樂觀主義“一書的合作者瑪麗.安.特羅亞尼說,"當(dāng)你是閉上眼睛,體驗這樣大腦中視覺化的事物,你的心中便不知那是真實還是虛幻, 神經(jīng)心理學(xué)的各種方法讓人們感到彷佛擁有了它,讓心中誤認(rèn)為認(rèn)為他們現(xiàn)在有了(被可視化了的東西)。這使人們更有信心了“

      Smile

      微笑

      Go ahead. It won't hurt you. It might actually make you happier, too. Based on the psychology that a person feels whatever emotion they are acting at the moment, you will probably feel better if you smile. To avoid what is called cognitive dissonance, in which our thoughts and actions don't match up, our minds react to the change in our facial expression to bring our beliefs in line with our behavior. And, like laughter, it's contagious. If you smile, chances are that those around you will too.

      微笑吧:它不會傷害你。事實上,也許怎能讓你感到更快樂;谛睦韺W(xué)理論一個人所感受到的是正在表現(xiàn)出的感情,當(dāng)你微笑的時候,你大概會感覺更好。為了避免所謂的認(rèn)知失調(diào),即讓我們思想的和行動上不一致的狀態(tài),頭腦會對我們的面部表情變化做出反應(yīng),讓將我們的看法同我們的行為統(tǒng)一起來。而且,正如大笑一樣,微笑也是具有感染力的。如果你微笑了,你周圍的人也會這么做。

      Marry Happy

      快樂婚姻

      Since there may be no point in marrying rich (see previous), then marry happy. Research shows that depressed singles receive greater psychological benefit — from things such as intimacy and emotional closeness — from getting married than those who are not depressed. And for the married population, first of all, congratulations: people in committed relationships have been shown to be happier than those who aren't, despite how satisfying their marriages actually are. Research done by an economist at the University of Warwick suggests that if you're married to someone who is happy, then you are happy as well. The research concludes that happiness, like material things in a marriage, is shared.

      既然為了錢而結(jié)婚是沒有必要的,那么為快樂而結(jié)婚吧。研究結(jié)果顯示抑郁中的單身者要比那些不抑郁的單身更多地受益于結(jié)婚帶來的心理好處--從親密,親切這類中。對于已婚群體來說,首先,恭喜各位:無論他們對婚姻度是高是低,對婚姻忠誠的人們呈現(xiàn)出的快樂程度要比婚姻上不忠誠人要高。由華威大學(xué)一位經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家做研究表明如果同一個快樂的人結(jié)婚,那么你也會快樂。結(jié)果表明快樂和婚姻中物質(zhì)財產(chǎn)一樣,也是在分享..

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