Many times a student will ask me for tips about picking up women at work, or some other place where it would be inappropriate for him to 'hit on' a woman. In situations where a man doesn't want to get a 'reputation', it is much better to take a more indirect route. Using my advice, with careful flirting, a man can get women to advance the relationship and pick him up instead. Specifically, we will use eye contact as a means of flirting, and false barriers to get women to make the first move.

In this type of situation, we are displaying tenative interest. Tenative interest not only a great way to generate attraction, but it also creates a wonderful opportunity for some fun flirting. What you should be thinking is "I like what I see, but do you REALLY meet my standards?" Adopt this frame, and practice it next time you're interacting with a woman. I guarantee you'll get women to react a bit more favorably. They will want to meet your standards, and you'll get women qualifying themselves to you.

Great flirting requires mastery of eye contact. Here are guidelines for eye contact flirting:

1. When a woman is acting favorably to you, or you have a fun vibe happening, keep solid eye contact. In this way you reward her, and she will do more of what you like.

2. As things progress and you are alone with a woman, stick to the 70 / 30 rule. This states that 70% of the time you should be holding eye contact, and 30% of the time, you should not. This sets the stage to get women comfortable with you and ready for seduction.

3. When you are saying something funny, it's better to not seek eye contact. In this way it doesn't appear that you are looking for approval for your jokes.

4. If you are making a move physically and touching her, do not look where you are touching. This signals to her that you aren't seeking her approval for you escalation.

5. When approaching a group for the first time, and you are talking, balance eye contact throughout the various men and women in the group. The idea is to get women involved in your conversation, but at the same time you keep your interest on a tenative level. (This disarms the men and shows you are not a threat)

6. Never use your own eye contact in attempt to get women to hold eye contact with you. She should be trying to get eye contact with you more than you are with her. To do this effectively, it shouldn't be something that you focus on too much. Remember, this is flirting, and it should be fun.

Once you have the tenative interest mindset down, and are good at fliritng, you will set up a really fun vibe between you and the woman. At this point, you want to put up a false barrier to give her something to overcome.

Here are some examples of false barriers. One friend of mine is a DJ, and gets gigs at parties There are plenty of beautiful women at these parties, but he doesn't want to break the professional relationship. He can demonstrate his interest in a responsible way by saying: "Hey. I like you but you're going to get me in trouble! I have a job to do!"

Or, if an attractive woman comes up to request a song he can say something like "At first I thought you were cute, but then you asked me to play X! Can you do any better?" Again, this is flirting, and it should be playful.

In a more general work situation you can say something like: "You know, you are so adorable. Good thing we're co-workers, or else we'd be getting into all kinds of trouble." Then sit back and watch as she works like the devil to plot some 'trouble' for the two of you.

Remember, these are false barriers, and in order for them to work, you must first get women interested through your flirting. When a woman is interested enough, barriers give her just the push she needs to motivate her into making a move. So the key is, get women into your playful vibe with flirting, then playfully throw up the barrier. You'll be surprised just how easy it really is.

學(xué)生多次問我如何在單位或其他不太適合“放電”的地方泡妞。如果一個(gè)男人不想被弄得“聲名狼藉”，就最好采取間接路線。只要采用我的謹(jǐn)慎調(diào)情法，他就能泡上妞，并且反而讓她來主動(dòng)進(jìn)攻。尤其是，我們會(huì)使用目光接觸為一種調(diào)情手段， 利用虛假的障礙來讓女人走出第一步。

在這種情況下，我們表現(xiàn)出不確定性的興趣。不確定性的興趣不僅是一種行之有效的制造吸引力的方法，而且還為一些有趣調(diào)情創(chuàng)造絕佳機(jī)會(huì)。你應(yīng)當(dāng)想的是：“我喜歡我看到的東西，但你真的符合我的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)嗎？” 按照這種思路，下次當(dāng)你和女人接觸時(shí)練習(xí)一下。我保證你會(huì)讓女人做出更親切的回應(yīng)。她們會(huì)想去達(dá)到你的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，你也就會(huì)讓女人向你做自我檢驗(yàn)。

高超的調(diào)情需要學(xué)會(huì)目光接觸的本領(lǐng)。這里是通過目光接觸進(jìn)行調(diào)情的指導(dǎo)方法：

1. 當(dāng)一個(gè)女人正在親切地和你交流，或者你獲得了一個(gè)輕松有趣的氣氛，那么就保持穩(wěn)固的目光接觸。這樣你就嘉獎(jiǎng)了她，她就會(huì)做更多你喜歡的事情。

2. 隨著事情進(jìn)展，并且你和女人獨(dú)處時(shí)，遵循70 / 30 規(guī)則。就是說，在70%的時(shí)間里，你應(yīng)當(dāng)保持目光接觸；在30%的時(shí)間里，則不要進(jìn)行目光接觸。這樣才能讓女人對你感到舒服自在，從而利于引誘。

3. 當(dāng)你說有意思的東西時(shí)，最好不要進(jìn)行目光接觸。這樣，你才不會(huì)看上去像是在對你的笑話尋求認(rèn)同。

4. 如果你正在做身體上的移動(dòng)，并觸摸她，那么就不要看你正在觸摸的地方。這就給她發(fā)了這樣一個(gè)信號：你沒有為你的行動(dòng)升級而尋求她的認(rèn)同。

5. 初次與一群人搭訕，當(dāng)你在說話時(shí)，要對這群人中的男男女女都進(jìn)行目光接觸，以尋求平衡。這是出于這樣衣個(gè)想法：既讓女人們?nèi)谌肽愕恼勗�，同時(shí)又把你的興趣保持在不確定性的水平上（這會(huì)接觸男人們的武裝，表明你不是威脅）

6. 絕不要用你自己的目光接觸來試圖促使女人對你也保持目光接觸。她應(yīng)當(dāng)正在試著和你進(jìn)行目光接觸，而且遠(yuǎn)甚于你對她的努力。為了更行之有效，就不應(yīng)當(dāng)太過投入了。要記住，這是調(diào)情，因此就應(yīng)該輕松有趣。

一旦你擁有了不確定性興趣的心態(tài)，并且變得善于調(diào)情，你就會(huì)在你和女人之間營造出一種真正有趣的氣氛。達(dá)到了這一點(diǎn)，你就想要制造一個(gè)虛假的障礙來讓她去克服。

這里有一些虛假障礙的實(shí)例。我有個(gè)朋友是個(gè)DJ，在派對上玩爵士樂。在那些派對上有很多美女，但他不愿破壞他的職業(yè)關(guān)系。他可以以對工作負(fù)責(zé)的方式來表現(xiàn)出他對女人的興趣：“嗨，我喜歡你，但你會(huì)讓我惹上麻煩的。我有活兒得干！”

或者，要是一位迷人的美女前來點(diǎn)一首歌，他就會(huì)這樣說：“我一開始以為你很可愛，可接著你居然要我放某某歌！你就不能點(diǎn)首更好聽的嗎？” 再說一次，這是調(diào)情，因此就應(yīng)當(dāng)要逗趣。

在更一般性的工作場合，你可以這樣說：“那什么，你真是人見人愛。好事情是我們是同事，但壞事情是我們會(huì)遇到各種麻煩的。” 然后靜觀其變，看著她就像邪魔一樣為你們兩個(gè)策劃一些“麻煩”。

要記住，這些都是虛假的障礙，為了讓它們行之有效，你必須先通過調(diào)情讓女人產(chǎn)生出興趣。當(dāng)女人有足夠的興趣時(shí)，障礙就會(huì)給她一個(gè)推動(dòng)力，她需要一個(gè)動(dòng)機(jī)來促使她自己做出行動(dòng)。因此關(guān)鍵在于：利用調(diào)情讓女人進(jìn)入你的逗趣氛圍，然后再開玩笑似的拋出障礙。你會(huì)吃驚地發(fā)現(xiàn)居然真的是這么的容易。