For some reason, people feel it is necessary to dump their opinions on anyone who listens. And much of the time for a stay-at-home dad, it seems those opinions are aimed right at your forehead. Being a SAHD, although becoming more accepted, automatically makes you a bit of an outcast in the child-rearing world. It can be hard not to snap back or feel beaten down. But how well you handle such remarks can help you feel more comfortable in the role. Here are top misconceptions about stay-at-home dads.

10. He’s Sitting at Home Watching Sports All Day

Well, there aren’t that many sports on during a week day, so watching plain old TV can fill the role. But watching TV, unless it is getting a short break from the toddler by tuning into PBS’s children’s programming, is usually the last thing on your mind during a hectic day. You may get to watch a late Sportscenter once the kids are in bed and the house is reorganized, but there are no guarantees.

9. His Spouse Would Rather Be Home

There is a theme to misconceptions that at-home dads have to deal with, and it is rife with gender stereotypes. This one is a reverse misconception. Just as there are men who don’t necessarily want to be stuck in the office all day and would rather take care of the kids, there are women who want to advance their careers. There is no doubt that your wife would like to spend more time with the kids. Your family talked long and hard about this decision and concluded it would be the best situation. It’s doubtful that during the process she said she didn’t want to be a mom.

8. Men Would Rather Be in the Office

Most stay-at-home dads can tell you they know a male friend, former co-worker, acquaintance or family member who has told them they would love to take care of the kids if they could. Careerbuilder.com releases an annual survey of working dads that has found the number wishing they could stay at home with the children was 50% in 2003, and the tally most years has hovered around 40%. Most men in this role chose to be here and wouldn’t want to give it up.

7. Men Don’t Stay at Home With the Children

True, only 159,000 men are classified as full-time fathers according to the 2006 U.S. Census Bureau numbers. That’s compared with 5.6 million full-time moms. But when you throw in the part-time at-home dads or those who do most of the caring for the kids – they work at night and watch the kids during the day, for example – the number of men as primary caregivers is as high as 20%. Additionally, the number of men staying at home has nearly tripled in the past decade and continues to grow. Full-time dads are increasingly visible.

6. Men Can’t Watch the Kids as Well as Women

Unsolicited advice is another common aspect stay-at-home dads deal with when out in public with their kids. You handled that tantrum incorrectly, you dressed them wrong, you shouldn’t be giving them that popcorn. Or how about, “Those kids should be with their mother.” Because a man can’t competently take care of a child? Moms surely get similar advice, and there is no way to say who has to deal with it more. Either way, it’s not a great feeling to be told you don’t know what you’re doing.

5. He Must Have Lost His Job

There is no other reason a dad would want to take care of the kids other than he was forced to, right? There is no question in these economic times some men have taken on the role because they were laid off or their job situation isn’t promising. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want to stay at home. Don’t be surprised if many more men used the economic climate as the perfect excuse to spend more time with their children.

4. He Must be Looking for a Job

Again, people have a hard time comprehending that a father would want to stay at home. It is sometimes hard to find support for the decision or to find the right response when finding out what a SAHD does. A lot of people are set in their ways. They’ll tell you it is great what you are doing and then ask how the job hunt is going or pass along employment advertisements that your skills fit. Take it as a complement that they are thinking about you

3. He Must Not Have Any Motivation

If you’re staying home all day instead of at work, it must be you can’t find something to do with your time or don’t want to. You’d rather sleep until noon, roll out of bed and eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes, play some video games and take a nap. Problem is, kids don’t sleep until noon and if you’re lucky you get a bowl of cereal when they eat. In fact, on the motivation front, SAHDs have to take the opposite approach. Being a full-time caregiver requires a lot of determination and composure. It is a job that doesn’t stop at 5 p.m. or for the weekend, and if you’re not on your toes constantly with the kids, they will eat you alive. Not to mention, you need to be motivated just to deal with these misconceptions.

2. So, You’re Babysitting Today?

Every stay-at-home dad has heard this. He probably heard it during the first week while out running an errand. And he’s heard it many, many times since. Yes, most kids are watched by women. But to automatically think that a father, even one who doesn’t stay with the kids full time, would only be with the children if he was babysitting shows how deep the parenting stereotype is. This is a tough situation to respond to. Taking the high road with a simple nod and a smile or a quick, “I watch them every day,” is probably best. They’ll probably get the hint, and likely will feel a little guilty about making the comment.

1. He Is Not Masculine

This is the granddaddy of all stay-at-home misconceptions. Watching the kids is a woman’s job. Men are supposed to be the breadwinners. You are not a man. It’s enough to make anyone unsure. It’s easy to get beaten down by this stereotype in what can already be an isolating role. A big defense is to show you have a grasp on the important task of making sure the kids are growing right is as important and rewarding of a job as any. You are taking care of your family. Isn’t that fall under the umbrella of what a man is supposed to do?

出于某些原因，人們傾向于向傾聽(tīng)者灌輸自己的想法。而你最經(jīng)常被灌輸?shù)挠^點(diǎn)恐怕就是“居家男人”了。雖然“居家男人”已經(jīng)越來(lái)越被人們接受，在現(xiàn)在的社會(huì)成為一個(gè)在家照看孩子的居家男人還是會(huì)被投來(lái)異樣的眼光。不想開口反駁或沒(méi)有挫敗感是不太可能的。但是正確處理人們的非議會(huì)讓你干的舒心些。下面就是人們關(guān)于“居家男人”最典型的幾種誤解。

10. 他成天在家看體育節(jié)目

.其實(shí)，工作日期間電視臺(tái)播放的體育節(jié)目并不多，所以收看乏味的電視劇的可能性更高。但是看電視肯定是你帶孩子參加完他的培訓(xùn)節(jié)目后短暫的休息空擋里才能做的事情，通常也是你繁忙的一天中腦海里最后的奢侈想法。也許孩子睡著后，房子收拾妥當(dāng)后你可以看看晚間的《體育中心》，但也不能保證你有這樣的時(shí)間。

9.他的妻子更應(yīng)該居家

這是居家男人必須面對(duì)的最主要的誤解，由此也可看出男主外女主內(nèi)這種思想的根深蒂固。這是可矛盾的誤解，其實(shí)很多男人并不喜歡天天窩的辦公室，而是喜歡在加照顧孩子；有些女性則喜歡出去發(fā)展事業(yè)。不能懷疑你的妻子也希望花更多時(shí)間陪孩子。于是你們經(jīng)過(guò)艱難的討論認(rèn)為這是最好的解決辦法。如果說(shuō)討論中媽媽說(shuō)她不想當(dāng)媽媽，那才真令人懷疑呢。

8． 男人應(yīng)該出去工作

大多數(shù)居家男人都會(huì)告訴你，他的一個(gè)男性朋友，以前的同事，熟人，或者家庭成員曾經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)如果可以他們?cè)敢饣丶艺湛春⒆印�Careerbuilder.com網(wǎng)站發(fā)布的一次年度調(diào)查結(jié)果顯示工作的男人中又50%表示愿意在家照看孩子。這一數(shù)字今幾年增長(zhǎng)了40%。多數(shù)居家男人樂(lè)于在家，而不想放棄這樣的機(jī)會(huì)。

7.男人不能在家照看孩子

當(dāng)然，美國(guó)2006年人口調(diào)查局?jǐn)?shù)據(jù)顯示，稱得上全職爸爸的僅有159,000人，而全職媽媽有560,000。但如果把花部分時(shí)間照看孩子或承擔(dān)大部分照顧孩子責(zé)任的男性算在一起，承擔(dān)主要照看孩子的人群中男性占到20%。此外，過(guò)去的十年間，居家男人的數(shù)量翻了三倍。全職爸爸的數(shù)量相當(dāng)可觀。

6.男性不如女性會(huì)照看孩子

不請(qǐng)自來(lái)的各種建議是爸爸們帶著孩子外出是經(jīng)常碰到的。“你這樣是不對(duì)的；你給孩子穿錯(cuò)衣服了；你不該給孩子吃爆米花……”或者“孩子應(yīng)該和媽媽在一起”是因?yàn)槟行圆荒芎芎玫恼湛春⒆訂幔繈寢尶隙ㄒ猜?tīng)到過(guò)類似的建議，而且沒(méi)有理由說(shuō)誰(shuí)應(yīng)該照顧孩子。不論怎樣，聽(tīng)到人們說(shuō)自己這個(gè)那個(gè)做的不對(duì)總是會(huì)感到不舒服的。

5. 他一定是失業(yè)了

.除了被逼無(wú)奈，爸爸們是不會(huì)選擇在家?guī)Ш⒆拥�，�?duì)嗎？在當(dāng)今社會(huì)，有些男性是由于失業(yè)或者工作不景氣而回家?guī)Ш⒆拥�，但這并不意味著他們不喜歡帶孩子。但是如果有些男性以經(jīng)濟(jì)不景氣作為回家看孩子的完美借口也不要感到驚奇。

4. 他一定還在找工作

還是那句話，人們很難理解一個(gè)男人會(huì)喜歡在家?guī)Ш⒆印Ｓ袝r(shí)候是這樣，當(dāng)了解了一個(gè)居家男人每天所做的事情時(shí)，很難讓人支持他的決定，很難找到合適的理由說(shuō)服自己接受這樣的做法。很多人堅(jiān)持自己的做法，他們會(huì)告訴你現(xiàn)在做事又多么開心，也會(huì)告訴你有多少獵頭或招聘廣告要求的條件自己都符合。就把這當(dāng)做別人非議你的一種反駁吧。

3. 他一定胸?zé)o大志

如果你整天呆在家里不去上班，一定會(huì)覺(jué)得無(wú)所事事或者沒(méi)有你想做的事情。你肯定寧愿睡到中午，爬起來(lái)吃一碗冰玉米片，玩玩電游，之后再去睡午覺(jué)。但問(wèn)題是小孩不會(huì)睡到中午，幸運(yùn)的話你可以在他們吃飯的時(shí)候吃到一碗麥片。其實(shí)，在志向問(wèn)題面前，居家的男性朋友可以從反面入手。做全職爸爸需要很大的決心和耐性。這個(gè)工作可不是朝九晚五那么簡(jiǎn)單，而且沒(méi)有周末。如果你不時(shí)刻警惕，小家伙可能把你“活活吃掉”，更不要說(shuō)還得面對(duì)那么多的非議和不理解了.

2. 你今天在帶孩子？

每個(gè)全職爸爸都聽(tīng)過(guò)這樣的問(wèn)話。也許他當(dāng)家的第一周出去買東西時(shí)就聽(tīng)到了這樣的問(wèn)題，從那之后聽(tīng)到這個(gè)問(wèn)題的次數(shù)太多太多了。確實(shí)，多數(shù)孩子是由媽媽帶大的。但是自覺(jué)的想一想，一個(gè)父親，哪怕是個(gè)不天天和孩子一起的父親，只有在照看孩子時(shí)才會(huì)和孩子在一起，該由女人帶孩子的觀念是多么深入人心呢。這個(gè)問(wèn)題確實(shí)不好回答。但是高調(diào)一點(diǎn)，微笑著點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭回應(yīng)他們“我每天都照看孩子”也許是最好的回答。這樣他們就會(huì)明白你的意思，并會(huì)為提出這樣的問(wèn)題而感到不好意思了。

1. 他不夠男人

這是關(guān)于“居家男人”歷史最為悠久的看法了。照看孩子是女人的本分，男人應(yīng)該出去干事業(yè)養(yǎng)家糊口。你不是個(gè)男人，這樣的話會(huì)使每個(gè)人都感到難堪。你已經(jīng)被孤立出來(lái)了，再聽(tīng)到這樣的評(píng)價(jià)，肯定會(huì)讓人受不了的。對(duì)付這種非議的最好武器就是告訴他照看孩子是多么重要的任務(wù)，照看好孩子和其他工作一樣重要一樣有意義，你是在照顧家庭，這不正式一個(gè)男人應(yīng)該做的嗎？