"You are the only one who can make you happy." We have all heard that so many times in our lives.

There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won't allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.
However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile, that is happiness. You know those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels... YOUR ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.

As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us, us)... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our Happiness.

So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.

How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn't like and set about making changes. It doesn't have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can't afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven't had a vacation for awhile and just can't afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.

Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.

You may be saying, 'Sure, that sounds so easy but...' Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.

If your unHappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.

Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don't like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!

“你是唯一能使你幸福的人。”這句話在生活里我們都聽(tīng)過(guò)很多次。

有時(shí)候，生活像難以下咽的藥片。事實(shí)上，你周圍的人對(duì)你當(dāng)時(shí)的心情有重大的影響。當(dāng)你的孩子在早上淘氣的時(shí)候，當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)小狗留下一堆隔夜的糞便的時(shí)候，當(dāng)你沖到馬路上，而交通卻不允許你以正常的速度前進(jìn)時(shí)，當(dāng)你來(lái)到單位卻發(fā)現(xiàn)同事請(qǐng)了病假的時(shí)候……所有這些事情都可能會(huì)影響你一天的快樂(lè)。

然而，情緒和暫時(shí)的情感不同于幸福。幸福存在于當(dāng)你觀看整個(gè)生命的圖畫(huà)并微笑的時(shí)候，那才是幸福。你知道那些時(shí)刻，當(dāng)你迫不及待的想要你的孩子們上床睡覺(jué)，而后在你查看他們的時(shí)候卻幾乎哭了出來(lái)，因?yàn)樗麄兛雌饋?lái)就像是天使……你的天使，睡的如此香甜。你幾乎記不得和他們生氣的時(shí)刻。那就是幸福。

因?yàn)樯�命在發(fā)展變化，我們會(huì)意識(shí)到我們是誰(shuí)，（是誰(shuí)創(chuàng)造了我們）……那就是我們所要負(fù)責(zé)的。我們知道，即刻的喜悅和憤怒只會(huì)在短期內(nèi)使我們的情緒平靜或惡化。我們?nèi)绾慰创�自己決定了我們的意識(shí)狀態(tài)，而我們的意識(shí)狀態(tài)決定了我們的幸福。

那么我們應(yīng)當(dāng)如何控制情緒并找到幸福之路呢？這似乎是個(gè)彌足珍貴的問(wèn)題。有不計(jì)其數(shù)的書(shū)籍闡述這一問(wèn)題。你可以閱讀練習(xí)直到你完全迷惑，或者，我們可以反省是什么使我們幸福。這可能要花費(fèi)更多時(shí)間和精力并使我們更加失望。

這樣如何呢？如果我們看著自己，并決定我們喜歡的和不喜歡的，然后開(kāi)始做出改變。不必然是大的改變。或許你對(duì)你的房子感到厭煩卻無(wú)力搬家。試著粉刷臥室，或者買些花放到餐桌上。如果你還沒(méi)有度假并且無(wú)力承擔(dān)，那就用野營(yíng)代替。

或許這些事情更傾向于私人化或內(nèi)在化。你很容易發(fā)怒嗎？去學(xué)學(xué)瑜伽或者沉思吧。你有婚姻問(wèn)題嗎？去拜訪一個(gè)咨詢師吧。孩子們有教育問(wèn)題嗎？確定主要的問(wèn)題，為你如何糾正問(wèn)題并堅(jiān)持下去建立指導(dǎo)綱領(lǐng)。

你可以說(shuō)：“當(dāng)然，那聽(tīng)起來(lái)很容易，但是……”當(dāng)然那聽(tīng)起來(lái)很容易。問(wèn)題總是聽(tīng)易做難，但是，更多時(shí)候，事情和我們所推定的一樣的難易。有時(shí)，只是我們把事情變的難了。

如果你的不快樂(lè)源自于你控制以外的情形，那么找到另外的方式去彌補(bǔ)。例如，錢很緊張，卻又沒(méi)有意外之財(cái)，那么就去找個(gè)不太昂貴的娛樂(lè)。后院足球賽，公園野餐，帶著苞米花去看電影，臥室里的小點(diǎn)心，都是可以取代外出度過(guò)奢侈夜晚的方式。如果問(wèn)題更嚴(yán)重，你感到無(wú)力，那就是時(shí)候?qū)で髮�業(yè)幫助了。

否則，看著鏡子，高興一點(diǎn)。如果你不喜歡你所看到的，那就改變它。做出更簡(jiǎn)單的解決！